Another Great Weekend

So this weekend was exciting, it was halloween weekend, well halloween is tomorrow but whatever, so Friday night I went out with my coolest roomie Jessie and met some wonderful men and had a great time. Saturday I went to Emilio's Halloween Bash, which totally rocked, I got ready with my old roomies, Pam was an angel and Amy was a kitty!!!! We looked super hot, we had an absolute amazing time you honestly have no idea. Then my roomie Jessie got off of work and she came out and we went to my friend Jake's house(p.s. Jake's really cute) his house was packed, wall to wall people and that place was awesome. I finally got the grand tour of the house, it only took like two months!!!! Everyone loved my costume I was the devil and a good one at that. I got lots of pics and I'll put a couple up for everyone to see. Later that night we went to perkins and it was hilarious looking at all the costumes. People are honestly crazy when it comes to halloween. Bur hey what do you expect, espexially from us college kids. But things are going good overall, life is still frustrating at times but I think I'm dealing with it just fine!!!! But another update, still around 70 pounds down haven't been on the scale to much lately. I felt sick the other day after I ate to fast, I was in such a rush and it didn't go well. Hopefully that won't happen again, yuck it was an awful feeling.

Al, Me and Emilio having fun!!!

Al and me he's a great guy!!!!

Chin and me!!!!!














Handcuffed it up!!!! The old roomies!!!!!!!

What's been going on in my life!!!!!

Today is Tuesday October 25th, 2005. It has been one crazy weekend, back in Brainerd for my friend Nikki’s bridal shower and bachelorette party it was an all out good time, had to deal with some issues that certain people had to bring up. And all that I am going to say is that I realized that there are some people who don’t deserve my friendship because all that they do is stab me in the back so guess what I am in the process of weeding out my friends. And honestly I feel better about it because then I don’t have to worry about them pretending to be someone that they are not. But any who, I saw my family which was really exciting because they haven’t seen me in a month and it seemed like everyone was happy to see me, but then again you never know. It was fun being able to see all my babies, they are all getting so big and I miss them a lot. I went to my nephew Jaeger's 4th birthday party Sunday and that was pretty exciting, he's just so cute. But this weekend is Halloween and I know that I need to make an appearance at Emilio’s party Saturday night or else he might kill me!!!! And I really don’t know what I am going to be, I’m thinking the devil, just because everyone says that I am a devil, so I guess I really wouldn’t have to dress up to much (laughing hysterically at this point) but I think that would work out the best, I got the red tank-top, short red skirt, devil horns and fish net stockings. Now I just need a tail, hmm I’ll have to make a couple calls this week. But it should be a great time, and I hope it is. But any who an update on me, I’m around 70 pounds down and I feel great, my pants that I just bought are now starting to get big on me and that makes me happy, but upset because I’m not a big shopper like some people. But that’s what I get for doing this surgery, don’t get me wrong I love it, but yeah there are downfalls. But that’s how I’m doing, 70 pounds in a little over 3 months, exciting. I can’t wait to hit the century mark which I hope will be in the next 2 months. Which I know I more than likely will. I guess I never really told anyone what my doctor gave me as a goal weight, well he told me anywhere between 130-170 now I know what your thinking that’s a big difference and I’ve heard that more than likely I’ll bypass that and be smaller but hey I’m happy with any number that pops up as long as I don’t go back to where I was 3 months ago. But that’s it for now, I’ll keep you up to date!!!!!

Check it out!!!!!

Hey I thought that this was cool, I was with my friend Carrie this weekend because we had a bachelorette party for my friend Nikki, and I thought these two photos would be cool to compare, check it out one week after surgery at Carrie's wedding and then 3 months out at our bachelorette party!!! Wow, I know lots of people see a difference and I guess so do I. I know my arms are still flabby but I'm strength training to get them better, but that's cool!!! Well I'll chit chat later bye bye!!

A great way to start the week, I think??

Today is Sunday October 16th, 2005. Things have been different with my family and I still hope that one day they will all change. Ronda and I however are on speaking terms again, no thanks to me breaking down and telling her that I can’t deal with any of this shit anymore. But she has been dealing with issues involving her and Jim and I really don’t want to get started on that so we won’t. Life has been pretty good overall, I feel good about life and I hope that my progress keeps getting better and better. My support group thinks that I am doing super well, I do believe that. I am down 60 pounds in 3 months that amazing, 20 pounds a month, and I know what you must be thinking, I could do that but for me I could never do that. My life has changed, I am not the same person that I used to be and I will never be that person again, that person died, not her soul, not her spirit, only the image on the outside. I died and was born again (tears are now pouring down my cheeks) I can never thank the people who helped me get to where I am today, I’m alive because of them and there are no words, no expressions, nothing that I could ever do or say to thank them. But I hope that they know how much this means to me. I’m happy, I can finally say that I am happy, I AM HAPPY!!!!!!!!!! I just want to keep screaming it all the time. I look at life in a whole new way, one where I can smile everyday and know that people are going to smile back at me. I had a friend write me the cutest note and she sent it to me, and I wanted to put it here so people could understand that she doesn’t want me to forget who I am and where I came from. So here it is…

Dear Janelle:
This is to remind you of who you are and what you are all about! Stick to your roots, never let them go because once you do they will be gone forever! Don’t let anyone tell you that you aren’t capable of doing something, if you put your mind to it then you can always succeed! You can only be one person and that is yourself, never change because someone tells you to, change because you want to. Don’t loose your spunk, because if I do then you will change your image towards everyone. If your friends don’t accept you then find new ones who do. But remember the people who helped you along the way, because they are the ones who love you and sometimes you tend to forget them! Never loose faith, always be prepared, you never know what may happen. Dream like there is no tomorrow, say what you mean otherwise nobody will hear your voice. And you have such a beautiful voice. Smile everyday, no matter how crabby you are. And still smile even when that certain time of the month is upon you! Don’t forget who you are, always stand your ground and never back down. Love like you have never loved before. Even if the man you love doesn’t love you back. Give one person a hug everyday, even if it is yourself. Don’t be afraid of taking risks, unless they will get you arrested or if it can kill you. Don’t be afraid of the future, one day you will make it and you will smile at yourself. Whenever life gets you down, stand up and try something new. Don’t piddle on the little things, grow from them and prepare for your next battle. YES, there are bumps in the road but just try your best to climb over them, and start running to the next one. Remember, only 2% of people change the world, and hopefully you are one of those people. We all have our blonde moments but hey they are always fun to laugh at. Don’t let people get on your nerves because then you can never get rid of them, just deal with it and move on. You are always going to be a drop dead, sexy, beautiful, gorgeous and one down right whistle blowing hot mama. Because it’s not what they think about you, it what you think about yourself. Look in the mirror and always remember who you were and never forget that you will always be that person on the inside, you just look different on the outside. You should always keep this letter handy because whenever things get out of control read it outloud and just let everything go away, you don't need anymore stress. Just remember that I love you and you are the greatest person ever!!!!!!!!!!!!! Your bestest pal Carrie!!!!!

I think that's the best way to sum up this entry, everything I think needs to take something like this into consideration. Thanks everyone, see ya!!!!!!

This is for Mickey and Suzie

Just to update (so two crazy boys/girls are happy) Mickey Mouse called me again today and was angry because I forgot to mention Suzie, well Suzie I'm sorry that I forgot to mention you but hey we thought Mickey was better. But just to let you know that, well have fun and I'm pretty sure that I will talk to them soon. But hey forgot to mention that I have an interview tomorrow, finally the first one!!!! Well sorry suzie, i really hope that I didn't hurt your feelings!!!!!!!

A crazy week over, and another beginning!!!!

Well, my very crazy week has finally come to an end, thank goodness. I did good on most of my tests, but I still don't know about all of them. I'm glad that this week is over because let me tell you it was terrible. But the weekend was awesome, me and Jessie (my roomie) had a movie night Friday we watched tons of movies, and had an awesome time. Saturday we went out on the town and just bummed most of the day, doing some shopping, looking for jobs and just bull shitting. We went out Saturday night, Heidi, Jessie, Jake and me went to some park that I can't remember its name but its like make out point basically and we saw some cars there that had some fogged up windows (and I hope you can fill in the rest) so we had to get out of there. We drove around and then decided to watch movies at my place and then we talked to Mickey Mouse all night long (hehehehehe) and I hope Mickey Mouse reads this, because if he does you were frickin hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!! We all had a great time listening to you!!!!!!!!!!! But I couldn't sleep all night, so I'm on no sleep, but that's ok, I feel just fine. Today looks like a gorgeous day and I think that I'm gonna go walking down by Lake Superior, and then I need to finish helping plan for my best gal's bridal shower. (which reminds me I need to call her back) But today is another day, I hope that I squared things away with one member of my family yesterday but I guess we will just have to see. But another great weekend but another crazy week. Hey I'm looking for a house in Duluth and if anyone knows a great place, call me (218-788-1850) I want to get my own place and I'm in the market. Keep me up to date!!!!!!!! Thanks Love ya all!!!!!!

I don't think I'm gonna make it??

Well this week has got to be by far the worst week of the school year. This week, I had a Biology test on Monday which I did pretty good on, Wednesday (today) I took my Pre-Calc test, I hope I did ok, (crossing my fingers), tomorrow I have a Chemistry lab report due, and also a Biology lab paper due. Then on Friday I have a test in Chemistry and also my Theories of Personality class. WOW what a week for tests. But it's already Wednesday and I'm doing pretty good so far. Tonight we have progressive dinner, where we go to other people's apartments and eat certain dishes that they prepare. Tonight we are making a caesar salad, granted I don't eat salad but I could honestly care less. And it's going to be great, we are eating with the Swedish guys who live in our next building and they are hilarious. I haven't stepped on the scale lately but I think I was down like another 10 pounds, (I think) I could honestly be wrong, but my support group thinks that I am doing great, and I think so too. I'm having some issues rehatched with the whole family war (as I have now deamed it) but have really good feeling that it will be resolved very soon, because now I realize what I have to do. Well I can't spill all of the details but we'll see how it plays out!!!!!!!! Love ya all!!!

A Wonderful Weekend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today is Sunday October 2nd, 2005. It has been an exciting weekend here in Duluth, gone out for basically the first time since starting school. It was a great weekend and I had tons of fun, thanks everyone for making it a great weekend!!!!!! But it’s just another update and I wanted to let everyone know that I am doing ok, and everyday is another exciting day. I am been feeling a bit better about the whole family situation but still NO APOLOGIES TO DATE!!!!!! (hint, hint, hint) I believe that the first step that my family needs to take is apologizing because then maybe, just maybe I would be able to try to forgive them, I won’t forgive them, probably not for a very long time but forgiving is the best first step that I can offer them. Because of most of this I’ve lost all trust in almost everyone that I know and I know that is going to be the hardest thing to get back, well it‘s going to be the hardest thing for me to start doing again, trusting someone. I’ve lost people’s trust before and let me tell you it does suck, but sometimes you need to work hard in order to get that back and sometimes that could take a lifetime to achieve. But for me not trusting people is even harder in life, I can’t imagine me living everyday wondering if I can even trust myself!!!! I realized that I am going to have to make a trip back to my hometown and do a few things, I first need to get fitted for my brothers wedding (which I am still debating whether or not to be in based on many, many factors) but more than likely I’ll do it because I love my brother and Jenny to death and they have never done anything to hurt me. I also would like to practice shooting since deer hunting is right around the corner and also I need to get my deer hunting license or else I can go, and plus I really need to fix my stand and get it all set. I really have no other things that I wish to do in Brainerd but I figure I can get it done and over with and try not to get involved in anymore bull-shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But I have a very busy week in front of me, lots and lots of tests so I’m gonna jet.